Asking for Permission
My wife is a photographer. She recently started a listing on Thumbtack.
As part of that process, they require her to get a background check. I started the background check, but made the grave mistake of putting her married last name instead of her maiden name.
The background check had problems because of this.
We are still waiting on it.
Sometimes this feels a lot like life.
Most of us are still waiting for permission.
In life sometimes we wait for permission from God, the Universe, our spouses, or whatever else before we actually reach for living a more fulfilled life.
It’s as if we’re a child and a fulfilled life is a cookie and we’re waiting for our parents to say, “Yes, you can feel fulfilled and joyful”.
Here’s the secret:
You don’t need to wait for permission.
I’m going to give you 7 reasons why you should stop waiting for some magical permission in order to live your fullest life.
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Now here are 7 reasons to stop waiting for permission
Reasons to stop Asking Permission
1. Nobody is going to give it to you
First and foremost, no one is going to give it to you.
Take all the time you want, but no one will say, “Yes, it is time for you to follow your dreams and become the first person to do xyz.”
Wait around for the permission all you want, it won’t come.
Why?
Because you are sovereign over your life. You make your decisions and you live with them.
If you believe in God, he isn’t a puppet master making you do things. He instructs and guides, but at the end of the day, you still have your choice.
So take up the burden of existence and choose to take the step and stop waiting for someone to give you permission.
2. Time is Being Wasted
As you wait, time slips through your fingers. If you don’t decide to chase the rabbit down the rabbit hole now, when will you?
Every second is precious and you are using it to wait for someone to say, “go ahead, be fulfilled”?
You will be waiting for a long time, and all that time will be beyond your reach. Take what you have now and take action.
3. People who you ask may want you to stay down
Usually, we wait for the people around us to give us the social acceptance of reaching above our station to grip a higher mode of life.
The problem is that, consciously or unconsciously, the people around us may not have your best intentions at heart.
Have you ever heard the old story that if you put lobsters in a bucket, you don’t need to put a lid on it.
Whenever one lobster tries to escape and climb out of the bucket, the others will pull it down.
The people around you may act exactly the same way, even without knowing it. Stop waiting for those same people to give you permission to reach your potential.
4. There are no rules
Growing up, I tried to codify life. I would tell myself, “in this instance you do this.”
I even found myself not doing things because of rules I felt were real, but weren’t.
Have you ever seen the Pirates of the Caribbean?
You remember the part where they say that the rules are more “guidelines”?
That’s pretty much how life works. Aside from formal rules like laws and things, there are no rules. Just guidelines.
Stop expecting to live within supposed rules that others are setting for you.
You don’t need permission because you make the rules for your life.
5. You are Giving away your Sovereignty
You are in control of your life. When you wait for others to give you the go-ahead, you give away your sovereignty.
You give away your control. People nowadays are so keen on giving away the burden of existence.
Each of us takes the responsibility and reaps the rewards of choice.
By living, we accept the opportunity and responsibility of making the choices that will give us the greatest joy.
When we give someone else our choice, we give away our responsibility.
The only problem is that we also expect to feel the same sense of joy.
That joy only comes from responsibility. You can’t have one without the other.
Stop giving away your joy. Assume the responsibility and make your own choices.
6. You are giving away your fulfillment
As I’ve already said, when you wait for permission from someone, you not only give away your control but your fulfillment as well.
By choosing for yourself in life, you get the great feeling of having taken control of your life and made something from it.
Nothing in life can be more meaningful than actually living it. It’s basically the definition of life.
Seek more control over yourself, seek more joy by not waiting for permission.
7. It’s an excuse.
When it really comes down to it, it’s just an excuse.
Start living the way you know you should. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to live as well as you can.
In the game of Monopoly, you get paid $200 when you pass GO.
Sometimes, you draw a card that says, “Go to x place, do not pass go, do not collect $200.”
Many of us find ourselves waiting for something to tell us to pass Go and collect the $200.
It’s just an excuse. We are fooling ourselves by not making the move on our own volition.
Even by giving that choice to someone else, we fool ourselves by making ourselves believe that we are not responsible for the consequences.
Wrong again.
So stop waiting.
Action Items:
1. Pull out your bucket list. If you don’t have one, think of something you’ve dreamt of starting, creating or building.
2. Ask yourself if you really need permission to do that thing.
3. Because you probably don’t, go take the first steps today.
These action steps are simple but they will get you past the need to wait for permission.
I hope that you’ve had the chance to really think about the permission you don’t need to actually live your life fully.
Instead of permission, you need a clear vision and discipline to do the right things consistently.
Take a cue from this article and start getting your discipline up to snuff. If you liked this article, check out our other articles. I put new ones out every week.