On December 13th a couple years ago, my father posted this to facebook, something he rarely uses:
“Well, I have been debating on whether I would say anything on the anniversary of the plane crash. American Airlines 3379. December 13, 1994… a date that will live in infamy…at least for me. I and two of my employees had flown to Greensboro, N.C on a business trip and we were scheduled to return to Chicago on December 13.
However we didn’t make it. Later, after the crash we learned that our pilot had a history of not handling emergency procedures. We were on approach when an igintion light had come on as we were on approach.

Our pilot interpreted that to be an engine failure. So he compensated for an engine failure and took us off our glide path. Eventually our aircraft stalled. When that happened the anti-stall mechanism kicked in and the engines throttled up really heavily. Unfortunately, by throttling up like that, the engines basically drove us into the ground. When we hit the ground we were doing over 200 mph.
When I became aware of my surroundings, I remembering trying to understand why the steady drone of the engines was gone. Then I remember hearing the sound of rain drops falling upon extremely hot metal. I remember hearing a girl’s voice say, “Somebody help me, somebody please help me.” I couldn’t get myself out of my chair. I remember there was a hole in the fuselage next to my head and I could see a small sappling tree was framed in the middle of the hole. I reached out and touched the tree, trying to figure out why it was on the runway at Raleigh/Durham Airport.
Suddenly, it dawned on my, that we didn’t make it. We didn’t land at the airport. It was at that point that everything started to hurt, it hurt like crazy.

Later after I got out of ICU, they told me that I had a closed head would, broken clavicle, flailed chest, a lacerated liver, a bruised kidney, my right lung collapsed, my elbow was fractured, my left should was dislocated, my left foot was fractured and my right foot was partially amputated.
There were many miracles that occurred that night, not the least of which is just surviving the crash. However, each year as the anniversary draws nigh, I look back on that night, I think about the opportunity I was given and I evaluate if I have done anything of value since that night.
While I can’t always say that I have done valuable things every day. I can say that every day that I spend teaching students, I feel that I can make a difference with my students.
Anyway, I can say without reservation that teaching has been the most rewarding thing I have every done. So as I look back on that fateful night, I can see where the experiences from the crash combine to make me a better teacher.”

Reflection

My dad is a teacher and has taught elementary and now teaches middle school aged kids. Every year around december 13th, I can expect some sort of proverbial moment of reflection. Sometimes it doesn’t have any outward sign other than a general feeling at my parents’ home.
Other times, my father does something like the above mentioned facebook post. Whenever December 13th comes around I reflect on my life. It’s a good reminder because my birthday happens around that time every year as well.
Every year I am presented with an opportunity to really feel out how I am doing with my life. Am I reaching my goals? Am I becoming what I really want to be?
Sometimes, I just don’t have the motivation to even think about it.
In recent years though, I’ve learned some lessons that have rocked how I even think about goals and reaching them. It’s challenged the very way I think about motivation. In fact I dislike using the word motivation. It’s a bit harsh I know, but I think we overuse the word and we abuse the concept. Instead I propose three fundamental shifts.
Instead, let’s think about a car.

In today’s parlance, motivation is the vehicle to get you to the finish line. I disagree.
Motivation is the spark plug. It’s only one component of the analogy. The really important parts are the fuel, the metal frame work of the car and the steering wheel. I’ll explain what each of these parts are later.
Now let me explain my point of view.

Goals

Statisticsbrain.com reported in 2015 that 8% of those that set resolutions, met them. Now let’s ask ourselves, why does this disconnect happen? What happened to the other 92%?
Have you ever set a health or wellness goal? Have you ever abbandoned that same goal just weeks after setting it? I would propose that the problem is motivation. I say we kill the very concept of the idea of motivation. This is a motivational blog post about killing motivation.
Strange I know.
These topics are important though. Many people are depressed and want to find a way to live happier. I don’t have all the answers, but I do believe these three topics are essential to a balanced life.
Let’s do an experiment.

I want you to sit here and want to be a better person.
Are you doing it?
Do it some more.
Are you a better person yet?
Keep trying.
Ok, now look around and see how ridiculous you feel. This is why I never propose more motivation. Motivation is a branch of ambition, or wanting more than your current situation in life. It is good, but it can be turned from virtue into vice.
As Adam Robinson says, “when you don’t get what you want, either you didn’t want it enough, or the things you were doing weren’t taking you there.” I would say there is little practical use of trying to make yourself want something more. So let’s figure out how to do more.

Discipline

The first component of the car analogy is the fuel. This is Discipline. I repeat, discipline is the fuel that makes your car go. I repeat: DISCIPLINE IS WHAT MOVES YOU!
I can’t take any of the credit for this idea. I got it from reading a book. In the book, Extreme Ownership, by former Navy Seals Jocko Willink and Laif Babon, they propose that discipline is what allows a soldier to survive and win.
Jocko Willink later wrote a book called Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual which is all about how discipline allows you to progress.
My father did not become a teacher because of motivation. He did not recover from plane crash because of motivation. To me motivation is often a crutch.
Motivation makes us feel a fire inside, it makes us want to stand up and go do something. Motivation is great for pep talks.
Motivating speeches don’t win wars though.
You can feel motivated hearing General Patton speak. You can feel motivated on the destroyer crossing the English channel. You could maybe even feel motivated riding shoulder to shoulder on the troop transports toward Omaha beach.
But when those ramps fall, and the german belt-fed Mg 42 machine guns start opening up on you, the only motivation is survival, and that doesn’t always get the job done. The job gets done because of training, and good choices. When you boil it down, the job gets done because of discipline, systems and a clear priority.

Discipline is what keeps our lows from stopping us. It is what keeps us going to the gym on an off day. Discipline is fuel.

Systems

The next component of our car is the metal frame work. The next component of our balanced life is the creation of systems. Let me explain.
A car is pretty complex correct? Well how complex is the life of a human being? How much potential does a car have? How does that potential compare to a person’s potential?
Car manufacturers use systems in to create amazing works of human ingenuity. But we who are an organization of living organs do not tend to use systems to make our lives better. Why not?
What I’m saying is to use the discipline previously mentioned to create routines and habits that we naturally fall into. Why make something hard? Change parts of your life to make whatever you need or want to do easier.
Let’s put this in an example.

The Gym.

If going to the gym is hard for you then train yourself to just physically go to the gym. Don’t work out. Just get into the habit of going. If that is too hard, get into the habit of putting on your gym clothes at your designated gym time, and then take them off. I think this is what’s called the Kaizen method.

When you’ve mastered that, practice getting into your car. You want to focus on setting up the system. It takes discipline until you do it without thinking. Then you don’t fall past your training and your routine. Continually scale up and push past what is comfortable until the challenging becomes routine. Then push farther.

Nutrition

Is eating healthy hard for you? Well, make it easier by buying healthier food and getting rid of junk food. If that is too hard, than institute one day a week of healthy eating. If need be wittle that down. The point is go the easiest possible place and systematize it so it becomes routine and growth can be scheduled.
I’ve implemented this in my life through what I call man council. Some friends from high school and I meet once a month (without our wives or girlfriends) and we discuss all of our goals both personal and professional.
We help each other and hold each other to standards of accountability and responsibility. We follow up with each other and we keep each other moving forward. This is a system that has worked in my life to help push me forward.

Priority

The last component is the driver’s wheel.
You cannot get anywhere if you do not have a clear and specific goal. This concept is hard to understand. I’m not talking about a short term goal. Short term goals are tasks. I mean a deep and encompassing statement about the general direction of your life. This clear vision functions as a steering wheel because it determines priorities. A priority is simply what comes first on a list of to-dos. The word priority used to mean the only important thing.

A clear vision dictates how time and effort will be used. Time is the most valuable resource as it is non-renewable. The clear vision affects how that time is used.
There is a cautionary tale here though. You must be able to craft new clear visions whenever you reach one. Many professional athletes craft the vision to be the best at their chosen sport. They incorporate this into their identity, which is important as it gives your vision the power to change you. Unfortunately when the game is over and can no longer be a part of your identity, there is a moment of crisis sometimes.
If you can’t change your clear vision and find a new target, you lose the luster of life and have no meaning.
Be careful of what you choose. You may get it, and you may not get it. Be wise in how you deal your time out. You won’t get any time back.

Motivation Caveat

In this article, I’ve spent most of my time detailing how useless motivation is and how we should focus on discipline, systems, and a clear priority. I did that primarily because in today’s society, I think motivation is severely overused. The meaning of the word has gotten lost in the buzzwords of today’s self-help gurus.
Let me be clear.
Motivation is not a bad thing.
It must be balanced though. With that balance you can use motivation as a powerful tool, instead of fixating on it as a pseudo-goal.

To Do:

Here is your to do list base on this article.

1. Take an inventory of your life to realize how disciplined (or un-disciplined) you are and in what areas. Take several days to do this and identify weak spots in your discipline. Ex: You find you are very disciplined in exercising, however you can’t seem to get yourself to to eat more nutrient-dense foods.2. After the inventory, define a clear priority. Set your goal. Ex: Even though you exercise well, your body fat percentages aren’t where you want them to be. You decided on reaching a specifc body fat percentage that you know to be very healthy for your height.
3. Identify ways that you can systemitize solutions for those weakspots in your discipline. Ex: You systematically reduce your purchases of junk-food, and at a sustainable rate increase the amount of nutrient-dense food you buy. You simultaneously increase your consciousness of how much you eat and the signals your body sends you about being full.4. Execute

Results May Vary

You are going to have days where you are incredibly motivated, and you will have days that test your discipline. In all of this realize that your results are not mine or anyone else’s. Your outcomes will always be different than other people’s because each of us are different.

What is important though is that you keep pushing and keep doing the work. It will be hard, but that makes the cause all the more worthy. Keep doing hard things, and you will overcome average.
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